You know it’s cold when your niples pop threw you bra
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate youDay 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbagMonth 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRMonth 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? PleaseMonth 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.Year 1: One down. 17 to go…Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEARTYear 3: Oh thank god that’s overYear 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shitYear 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS
Once upon a time, I decided that it was my solemn obligation to prank my friends before we graduated.
So…I made Hogwarts Acceptance letters. A lot of them. Because who isn’t still waiting for their freaking letter to arrive?
My hand hated me so much. Also, cursive G is the worst.
Letters were posted. All was well.
Until this happened…
This is literally the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life.